I'm 13 and hooked on overdosing on pills?

I'm just going through A LOT of family and personal issues. I'm so depressed and lonely. I can't really explain my sickness. Cigarettes don't help me,I've never done weed because I've seen my friends go crazy on it,and I can't access alcohol. My mom knows about the pills and shes worried about me because I black out for the whole entire day...honestly,I'm worried for myself. Can anyone help me how to vent my stress any other ways then just blacking out on pills?