Can anyone of you say something which will prevent me from blowing my brains out?

I know the bible and was an avid follower for over 20 years however I can speak honestly when I tell you that Jesus Christ has never and I mean NEVER made any kind of a meaningfull difference in my life. Quoting bible verses will not help for I know them all and after praying day and night for years and years with no answers I feel helpless and hopeless. This is not a joke. Within' the next 10 minutes if I cannot FINALLY find a good reason to live than I will splatter my brains against the wall.